Recently I got a question from a mom….
“I want some ideas on coaching my son with friendships… Sometimes he gets left out and then he gives up.”
No one wants to be left out!
So… How can we help kids get included in play and build resilience?
In the video I share with you our time-tested tips from when Jason and I taught together!
In less than 3-minutes you’ll hear about the research and practical tools we used to help kids get included in the game.
But here’s the thing.
A lot of teachers and parents handle situations like this by forcing kids to play together–even when they don’t want to. (That’s what happened to me in 4th grade and it destroyed my friendship with my best friend.)
What Jason and I did in our classroom was different.
We helped kids develop the social and emotional intelligence to join in a group, and we gave them strategies when it didn’t work out to build their confidence and resilience.
If your child has been excluded, how did you handle it?
Share in the comments below what you did to help. I read every comment and I might even use your comment or question in a future blog post!
XOX, Cecilia
Yes! You can start with a child as young as 2! Role model it. Have them practice with you, even outside the situation. He won’t be perfect at it, but you are laying an important foundation!
Hi. Thanks this was very helpful. At what age would you start this? My 2 year old has been left out recently by a friend that is abit older-4. He responds by trying to get attention by throwing things. I’m not sure he really understands when I give him other choices- like playing by himself.
Thank you for this. I struggle sometimes finding ways how to emotionally support my own children. Often my 8year old girl wants to play on her own, and my 5y.o.son wants to play with her. She refuses and he is in for a meltdown, even chasing her, hitting her….for not playing. Often they play great together, we home educate so they are together much more time then most siblings. Often when out he wants to join his sister and her girlfriends play, not the boys or anyone else…and my daughter comes complaining to me they don’t want to play with him… Any tips there? Thank you.
I would recommend to teach the 5 year old the strategies we’ve talked about here in the video. Allow the 8 year old some time to play with her own friends without her brother.
Hey Cecilia, thanks for posting – it made so much sense about how your child struggling with social integration can trigger such an emotional response in the parent because of the importance of social interaction in caveman days!!
Yes, it can provoke BIG feelings in us!