A few years ago after a tough day in middle school, our daughter boarded the noisy school bus that would take her home. She flopped down in the seat.
I imagine she had the facial expression that she so often wore in those days… a thin veneer of teenage nonchalance and breezy self-confidence, to cover her exhaustion, anxiety, and self-doubt.
On the bus, the kids were rowdy. Some playing music, some zoning out on their phones, some were noisy and annoying.
A kind kid in another seat asked her, “How are you?”
She said she had a hard day.
He responded, “Oh, you haven’t had enough ‘moments’ today.”
Yes, that was exactly it.
She hadn’t had enough moments.
We–all of us–often don’t have enough moments.
Moments to be outside yourself, to see the beauty in the color of the sky, a dog joyfully wagging its tail, to see the shape of the leaves, the sound of the birds, to notice someone else’s face.
Or moments to be inside yourself, away from the pressures, the striving, and expectations of the world.
Moments to hear yourself think, to listen to your own inner voice and guidance, to know the truth about yourself as a spiritual being.
Moments to give kindness to someone else, or to receive kindness in a look, a touch, an act of generosity.
Moments to look into someone else’s eyes, and see that you are not alone, you are good enough, you are deserving, and without doing anything–you are whole and complete.
My wish for you is NOT happiness all the time.
Endless happiness is neither realistic nor attainable. Endless happiness might not even be desirable (even though I sometimes foolishly wish for it myself).
Rather, my wish for you is that you have moments of happiness.
As we enter the holiday season, I wish that you are sustained by these small moments.
A smile. A touch. A kind word. A hug. An act of service.
A breath. A laugh. A comforting thought.
I hope that you move from moment to moment with ease and deep knowingness, with comfort in who you are, and where you are.
Thank you for being you.
Thank you for doing all that you do in your home and family.
The holidays may look different this year than last, different than what we have hoped and dreamed of.
But they can still be filled with moments.
What have been your favorite moments so far this week?
Share your moment in the comments below. I will read and respond to each one.
May your heart be thankful.
May you be satisfied.
And may you have moments.
Hi Cecilia, just found your post which relevant to the lives of foster carers who have lots of ‘moments’. I will share with my fostering friends. Thank You!
I’m so glad that it hit home for you, Stan!
This was really beautiful. It’s lovely to think not in complete happiness. But for moments of happiness. They can carry you through a lot. They are like money in the bank. We can draw on them when the going gets tough! I had many moments today (including reading your article!) but a major moment was watching my daughter who I am about to adopt feeding dolphins! xx
Bari, that’s a lovely story!
Thanks a lot for your message. I’m pretty busy as a school counselor. I had done an individual session with a student of mine and was giving my feedback to her mother afterwards as she said; “İyi ki varsınız” meaning “I’m glad that you exist.” It meant a lot to me just like your message. Thanks again. Every now and then we also need to feel loved and accepted just like any other human being.
I’m glad you exist too, Gozde! Our children have both been helped so much by school counselors. Valuable work that you do!
Great post! I have good days, I have blah days, and I have bad days. But, even on the bad days, I try to take a moment to enjoy the the way the winter sun hits the bare trees, I say hello to my growing indoor herb collection, I hug my kids, and I eat some chocolate. I also just finished binge watching The Good Place, and that really lifted my spirits. I have become such a superfan that I listen to the accompanying podcast, which interviews actors, writers, production staff. At the end of each podcast, actor Marc Evan Jackson asks his guests, what’s good? Such a great way to end the podcast, but I think it applies to your blog post as well. I will say that I think The Good Place is good. :)
Rebecca, I love those reminders… hugs, herbs, chocolate, winter sun, a good show! Thank you!
This is the most beautiful thing I’ve read today. You’re right – most of us spend our entire life looking for happiness and ignoring the joy in simple moments. Thank you for the reminder. My ‘moment’ today was reading this post. I admit that I cried. My ‘moments’ this week have been cuddling up with my son at bedtime.
Namrta, I’m so glad that you were touched by this post. Enjoy the cuddling with your son… sounds like heaven!
I never comment on anything but this is absolutely beautiful and just what I needed to hear today.
Kate, thank you so much! I’m happy that my writing could be “a moment” for you! Big hugs.
Hi! I had an aha last night. When I was trying to get advice as to why I’m angry for apparently no reason, I found out that that is what depression can look like. My doctor had suggested that she was concerned I might be depressed about two weeks ago. I denied it. I have also been limited in my physical movement for the past six months with an injury… besides COVID SIP, distance learning and no income coming in. So I guess my moments of awe, wonder, and amazement of how my children are coping with not having any interaction with anyone outside our home, and distance learning, my wonder and gratefulness of my husband’s support and tolerance of my inability to physically assist with the household, and my recent hopeful news that my MRI shows the improvement, that I thought I felt, there may be something else that I need to do to help myself. I’ll ask my doctor for help if this disconnect is there next week!
Karla, I’m glad that you are healing and considering reaching out for help. You’ve got a lot on your plate right now. It makes sense that you’d need more support. Big hugs to you.
My husband and I have always used the expression ‘I’m having a moment’. It usually happens when we’re travelling and experiencing awe or deep relaxation. Lately we have formed a new habit of an hour’s hike first thing in the morning. Getting out in nature we are able to experience moments before the day has really got going. It is transformational so yes I totally relate to your blog!
That’s wonderful to start your day with a hike outside, Kayte! Jason and I often start our day with outdoor exercise. At this time of year, outside means wearing our down coats and watching the sun come up each morning. It’s beautiful to see the clouds and listen to the birds!