Whether you live with kids or work with them, at some point you’ve thought to yourself, “How do I get this child to…
…turn of the screen,
…stop screaming at her brother,
…get his work done,
…take the trash out?”
We recently talked to Heather Forbes author of Beyond Consequences, who said that “How do I get my child to…” is the wrong question to ask ourselves!
In this short video, she gave us two questions that parents and teachers can always ask themselves, when dealing with a child with challenging behavior.
Looks hard. Gotta try it
I like your enthusiasm, Catherine!
Food for thought thank you
You’re welcome, Sandra!
I couldn’t agree more. Thank you.
You’re welcome, Rochelle!
This video was a perfect review for me as I am facing some “incomprehensible” behaviors with my 7-year old son right now. Love and build relationship first. Then, when things are calmer (maybe in the evening?), talk about ways that he can help himself to get to school on time. It is good to remember how stress can send both us and our children into an illogical state. In the long run, is a few minutes late to school worth all that?
That’s great, Mags! And focusing on relationship first will often get a child to school more quickly than a child who has really dug his heels in, because he knows he’s not being heard!
I’m so glad you asked the question about the dishwasher! I am often frustrated and upset by my stepchildren’s reluctance to contribute…AND I totally get that I need to focus on softening and finding them ‘in the heart’ before they will learn to WANT to help and contribute. It makes a lot of sense… and it feels really challenging!
So true, Fiona! I often start with doing some self reflection, figuring out what my feelings are and giving myself empathy first!