Today we are talking about how to NOT yell at kids.
Nobody wants to yell at their kids.
And yelling is something many parents struggle with. Afterwards, you might feel shame, embarrassment, or regret.
But. How. Do. You. Stop?
We share 3 tools to stop yelling…
We don’t share about counting to 10, taking deep breaths, meditation, or crystals (although those could all be helpful).
We do share the underlying reasons for why we yell AND what you can do about it.
Now that you’ve watched this video, I’m curious which one of these strategies you are going to use next time you yell?
Leave a comment below to inspire others and build up the community
You’re welcome, Desiree!
Sylvie, agreed! Role modeling imperfection is a wonderful gift to our children, and it’s a gift to us too!
Jessa, you are welcome! It was a joy to create this. I’m so glad that you enjoyed it! xox
thank you for the video, i love the sounds of the birds! :)
i like the idea of rewinding and thinking of a better way to handle the situation without yelling and saying this to the kid. i will try this, not too soon i hope! :)
talking to the kids about trying not to yell also helps me, because sometimes they will try to stop me when i start yelling which normally helps me to cool down much quicker.
Astrid, those are lovely tips! Thanks for sharing! (I like the birdsong too. We also picked up a little bit of someone with a chainsaw in the beginning of the video!)
THANKS so much for putting out these 3 steps, all are necessary. appreciate the seeing that parents are good, even when they make mistakes. also consider that there are things to do for the children. What led to them not being cooperative? after you do the three step, look at whY_ the kids probably need connection and limits, so they can get in their cooperative brain. they are prob short on feeling that we are really FOR Them, what can fill that back up for them- time , attention, confidence as a leader, so they know and are not confused by our requests. clear, firm and kind limits , so they can feel safe and find a routine/rhythm that we put in place for their sake. Things get better, not only when we let ourselves off the hook as parents, but when we see that kids are showing us that something needs to change by their off behavior. You are providing excellent information for what we can do.
Barbara, I love what you’ve written here about looking at the kids needs and how to gain their cooperation. Thank you!
thank you so much..
You’re welcome, Eman!
Reconnect that’s what I will try next time I will yell at my kids. The third step i used it and it super helpful and effective. To find someone that is there to just listen and not judge or try to fix you. For me this helps o lot . Great tools. I do say sorry and explain why i yeld and i regret what i did and but never thought of saying “this is what i wanted to say. “I’ll try this next time definitely . Great advice tnks guys
Elena, yes, reconnection really helps the relationship develop and role model for the kids that we don’t have to be perfect!
Helpful tools…thank you!
You’re welcome, Davorka!
thank you! This was so great!
You are welcome, Jana!
Dear Cecilia and Jason, thank you so much for this video!! It’s been quite a long time since I became aware of what style of parenting I wanted with my daughter (who’s now 5), and that I wanted a respectful relationship with her, but it’s still quite difficult to struggle every day’s issues. I think that you hit the target absolutely with your tips because being aware of what we do wrongly helps us be willing to improve, and that’s the key point as you say. Being able to reflect yourself, acknowledge your mistakes, ask for forgiveness, having someone who listens to you, and just move on. Parenting is such a challenging adventure. Thanks for being there and make it at least a bit easier for us ;)
Irene, that’s wonderful! And self reflection with compassion for ourselves is key! Hugs to you!
Really good stuff Jason and Cecilia. I think I am going to have to reread “Non-violent Communication”, because I had a really hard time grasping all of the concepts my first time through. It is so deep and so different, but it keeps coming up as recommended reading, so I’ll just have to give it another go. Thank you for this piece!
Vanessa, it’s one of my “go to” books, and there are lots of other fantastic resources out there! Happy reading!