As I sat down to write to you, I got a text message from a mom. “I am struggling with my daughter’s temper and even more, my own temper.”
Recently we sat down with Dr. Daniel Siegel. We asked him…
How do we help kids tune in to what they feel and RECOVER from their feelings?
If you’ve ever listened to Dan Siegel before, you know that you’re in for a treat.
In this video, you’ll hear why you DON’T want to distract your child from their feelings.
And why is it counterproductive to tell a child “It’s okay”, when to them “It’s not okay”.
Our favorite take-away was…
Your child “can be in a very uncomfortable state and you can be there with it and NOT try to get rid of it.”
Resources:
More information about Dr. Dan Siegel, his books and his programs can be found at his website and The Mindsight Institute.
I appreciate the thoughts expressed in this video, but it leaves me a bit frustrated. I want to do all these things and I often do, however sometimes it seems like my child, even my 10 1/2-year-olds, will cry even louder to show me how mad/sad/frustrated she is, and at some point I want to set a boundary for myself that I’m not going to sit there and let her go on and on. Just a sad cry is fine. But when she’s mad about a decision I made and begging me to make a different one while she’s crying… at some point I have to set a boundary for myself or I’ll get triggered – I can’t just sit there calmly when she goes on and on like that. Thoughts? Thank you so much for all you do, you guys are amazing!
I think it’s healthy to set boundaries for ourselves. If you are emotionally maxed out I think it’s okay to say, “I hear your feelings. They make sense to me. I’m going to take a 10-minute break. I love you. I’ll check back in, in 10 minutes.”