Have you ever been hanging out with your child and you WANT to have a deeper conversation, but you don’t quite know what to ask?

Or have family conversations gotten routine? Too surface-level? Or too much about logistics, like who is going where and when?

Here’s a solution.

We’ve got a list of discussion questions that you can ask your tween or teen.

Use 2-3 of them to have a deeper conversation with your child. This is perfect to use while you’re in the car together, during a family meal, or during one-on-one times.

It’s even broken up into sections by topic. Print a copy so you can keep it in your purse.

But here’s the important part…

Ask the question and then JUST LISTEN. And when you think they are done talking, wait some more.

Be curious and show interest with a follow-up like “Hmmm, oh, that’s interesting. Tell me more.”

Your goal right now is to connect.

If you have advice or comments that you want to give, make a note of it and talk about that another time.

Enjoy the time with your teen or tween and see the world through their eyes.

Discussion Questions for Tweens and Teens

Friends

Who are your closest friends now?
What things do you do with them?
Have your friendships changed in the past year? How?
What do you look for in a friend?
How do you know if someone is not your friend?

Relationship

What do you look for in romantic relationships? What qualities attract you to another person?
Have you ever been in a relationship? If so, what have you learned about yourself while in this relationship?
What things do/did you do together?

School

If you could change one thing about school, what would it be?
Do you think that the teachers at your school understand you?
Do you have adults at school you could go to if you need support? Who?
Where is your favorite spot to sit in a classroom?
Are there cliques at school? Are you in one? What are cliques like? Do they hang out in certain areas of the school?
Who are the popular kids at your school? Do you think popular kids ever have less freedom to be themselves in order to fit in?

Family

What does your family value?
What are your family traditions?
If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

Personal

What are the things you like about yourself?
What are things you’re working on improving? How are you doing that?
What do you like to do for fun?
When do you feel happiest?
When do you feel sad?
What do you worry about?
What do you do to cope with your feelings?
What are you most looking forward to?
What are you most proud of this past year?

Culture / Current Events

What are your favorite shows? Why?
What social media platforms do you use? What do you like about that platform? How does it work?
Social media is associated with teen depression, do you think that impacts you?
What are the positive things you’ve experienced about social media?
What are the things that my generation doesn’t understand about your generation?
Should adults be concerned about your generation’s use of social media? Why or why not?
How does your generation view mental illness?
How does your generation view gender?
Are you the same person in all the different areas of your life… with your parents, friends, school, on social media? How do you manage all these different identities?

Now it’s your turn… What discussion questions have you used with your teen or tween? Add them in the comments below.

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