Do you have a child who gets frustrated and resorts to name-calling?
Maybe you’ve tried everything… telling them “we don’t use those words”, talking about how “those words hurt people's feelings”, practicing calming techniques, ignoring it, taking them for a break, taking things away, sticker charts and rewards…
But nothing is working, and your child continues to melt down or name-call you or a sibling.
Many frustrated parents have asked us:
- What should I do if my child is calling me names?
- How should I discipline my child for name-calling?
- How can I get my child to stop calling other kids names when they’re mad?
Gentle Parenting in Action: How to Handle Name-calling (in a way that actually works)
Here’s what to do in the moment when your child name-calls. We’ll show you how to help name-calling be a thing of the past.
As usual, we’re not going to give you the same advice about name-calling that’s available on the rest of the internet. At Happily Family, we do things differently.
In this short video, we’ll show you how name-calling is a sign that your child needs support and guidance, rather than discipline.
You’ll see how you can use situations like name-calling as teaching opportunities that will ultimately strengthen your relationship with your child.
Do you have a question you’d like us to answer? Leave it in the comments–we read and respond to each one!
Do you like short videos like these? If so, leave a comment below to let us know.
If I were in your situation I’d ask myself, “What is the underlying need that my child is trying to meet using potty talk?” For example, if he’s trying to connect with you because there is a lot of adult conversation at the table and he’s bored or wants to contribute, then talking to him about not using potty talk and putting him in his room might reinforce that potty talk is a good way to connect with you and get your attention. The appropriate parenting response depends on why your child is using the strategy in the first place. Hope that helps.
My assumption with older kids is similar to with younger kids, that they don’t have the language to express what they are feeling underneath so they resort to name-calling. So yes, he could be having lots of feelings about himself that come out in the name calling.
SO GOOD. Will definately be trying this method with my 4-year-old. I love the reminder that he is not giving me a hard time he is having a hard time. Thank you!
This is so good. Thank you. Can you please tell me what to do with a 13 year-old who didn’t get this kind of response from me as a child?
You can say, “I was reading/watching something about parenting and I realized that I did xyz, when you were young and maybe that didn’t feel good. What was it like for you then?” Asking how it was for her and cleaning it up if she had a negative experience can help you reconneded, if needed. Or asking how she would like you to support her moving forward can be helpful. Hope that helps.
Thanks fir the video. My 12 yo son is ND and he calls his siblings terrible names, even justvin conversation or if they (siblings) say something. Things like dumb, idiot, etc and if I ask him why he thinks that he comes up with some rigid thinking. I’m thinking it may have something to do with how he feels about himself maybe???